


Bastards of Fire

by Loukas2357



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Multi, One Shot Collection, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loukas2357/pseuds/Loukas2357
Summary: It was a fresh new day in the world of Magnolia. The Sun was shining, the weather was perfect for a beach day, and everything was peaceful. Demons of Tartaros were no longer seeking vengeance or world domination, the wars were all over, and we all got a-happily-ever-after.Well, sort of. Here’s a story of two jackasses being bastards and terrorising a specific Celestial Mage, a Fire Dragon Slayer from 400 years ago, and the rest of the cast.This takes place about a year after the 100-Year-Quest btw.
Relationships: Cana Alberona/Mirajane Strauss, Freed Justine/Mirajane Strauss, Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser, Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine, Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine/Mirajane Strauss, Laxus Dreyar/Mirajane Strauss, Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox, Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Kudos: 13
Collections: Fairy Tail Reverse Bang 2020





	Bastards of Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Huge shout-out to the team at this year's Fairy Tail Reverse Bang! It was a blast, pun intended.  
> Another huge shout-out to my partner for this story, @phoenix-before-the-flame over on Tumblr (https://phoenix-before-the-flame.tumblr.com/), who provided the art and inspiration for this quazi-one-shot (https://phoenix-before-the-flame.tumblr.com/post/628809250716663808/yo-yo-yo-i-was-apart-of-ftguildevents-reverse). She did an amazing job with the piece, and I hope I get to participate here again.
> 
> So yeah, hope you enjoy the story!

Natsu yawned: “Lucy, I’m tired…”

Lucy exclaimed: “You wouldn’t sleep the whole night, how is that my problem?!”

They walked over to the Fairy Tail guild from her apartment, Happy flying sluggishly after them: “But Lucy… Yesterday was a meteor shower…”

She said: “Those were fireflies, you knuckleheads.” She flicked them over their heads, both groaning. Natsu said: “You would have enjoyed them…”

She said: “It’s not like that was the last time we would see fireflies, they’re literally everywhere.”

The pinkette groaned, about to say something, when he was rudely interrupted and tackled into the river by a very familiar dark-skinned blond of the dark guild Tartaros.

Jackal grinned: “I got him!” Zancrow came running after him, about to tackle Lucy as well. She stepped out of the way at the last second and let him charge in the water, her expression more annoyed than scared: “Seriously? Again?”

The blond Fire God Slayer groaned, now drenched completely: “Dammit, that was gonna be fun…” Jackal laughed at his Bastard Brother’s failure: “She totally got you!”

Suddenly, a fiery fist collided with Jackal’s chin, sending him on shore, Natsu standing up from the water, pissed: “Get over here so I can rocket your asses to the Moon!” 

Zancrow smiled, blasting out of the water: “Well, that’s our que, we really must go!” Jackal grinned and saluted the two, running off with Zancrow, as Natsu jumped out of the water and gave chase: “Get back here!”

Lucy called after him: “Natsu, we’re gonna be late to the guild!” Happy flew after his best friend’s (girl)friend: “It’s just water, Natsu!”

Natsu ignored Lucy and Happy, running after the two blonds in front of him, both cackling mischievously. They soon turned a corner, and Natsu being Natsu, he followed. 

He stopped dead in his tracks as both Jackal and Zancrow had buckets of water balloons by their feet, and they began throwing them, the water balloons hitting Natsu and exploding into whipped cream, cheeto dust and cheap perfume, covering him head to toe.

Zancrow and Jackal laughed before grabbing the buckets and running off, Natsu frozen in the cascade of smells, bits of whipped cream sliding down his hair, clothes and arms. 

Lucy and Happy soon ran into him, and Happy snorted when he saw Natsu’s new look: “He got so excited he exploded into orange whipped cream!” Lucy groaned, pushing through the perfume smell and grabbing Natsu by his scarf: “Come on, you idiot, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Natsu let out a dying groan: “So much… Smell… Sensory… Overload…” Happy said, shaking his head: “It’s times like these I pity you Dragon Slayers…”

_ A few moments later, back with the Bastards… _

Jackal panted, leaning against the wall, smirking: “Target one, eliminated.”

Zancrow smirked, sitting on the floor: “And how are we gonna take care of target two?”

Jackal asked: “Have you ever dug yourself into a cake?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ The next morning… _

Juvia asked: “Is Gray-Sama feeling okay after yesterday?” Gray deadpanned: “You were there, and we went all night.” 

She pouted: “I just wanted to make sure you were fine when I pulled the-” 

He panicked slightly as he noticed Asuka, Bisca and Alzac walking by: “Okay, yes, I get it! It was great!” Asuka got a funny look on her face, but her mommy pulled her along having heard enough of the conversation.

Her eyes lit up: “Really?” He said: “Well, yeah, obvious-” He then noticed something strange behind the Water-Body mage: “What the…”

Juvia turned around, both mages now looking at a stupidly large white-frosted cake, probably a wedding cake from all the frosting decorations, though no figures stood at the top. 

Gray looked at it suspiciously: “Why is there a random human-sized cake in the middle of the street?” Juvia shrugged: “I don’t know, someone must have forgotten or lost it here.” 

“How do you lose something the size of a person?” Juvia gave him a sideways glance, and he exclaimed: “I already said I’m sorry for that, I was forced to go undercover!” She smiled and kissed him on the cheek: “I know.” His cheeks turned slightly pink at that.

They looked at the cake once more, and she asked: “What do we do with the cake?” Gray shrugged: “I dunno, maybe call Erza and leave it at that?”

She was about to agree, when the top layer of the cake suddenly blasted off the top, a furry hand coming through. Jackal climbed out and exclaimed: “I AM HERE!”

Gray, in a moment of panic, formed an Ice Make: Wall under his feet, and encased the entire cake and Jackal in it. He later realized who it was: “Oh, it’s you.”

A few moments later, Zancrow came running in: “Holy fuck you killed him!” He used his Fire God Slayer magic to blast Jackal out of the ice, and he panted: “Okay… That was unexpected…”

Gray exclaimed: “You two are just crazy idiots!” Juvia asked, unphased by the cake exploding: “Why would you hide in a cake?”

Zancrow said: “We thought you’d go wedding crazy about seeing a giant cake, so…” Juvia said happily: “Oh, Juv- I am now in therapy!” She waved her hand: “Working on my obsessive behaviors and past trauma.” Gray grumbled slightly: “She dragged me to her therapist once, and now I have weekly sessions…” She said: “From what Meredy told me, you need therapy the most out of any of us.”

Jackal said: “Well look at you two, working through your trauma in a healthy way!” Zancrow said: “I gotta tell Meredy, she would  _ love _ to hear this!”

Juvia smiled: “Okay, but first…” The water around Jackal and Zancrow pooled under them as she exclaimed: “Water Nebula!” 

Too late they realised what was about to happen, and they were launched into the stratosphere and out of Magnolia. 

Gray looked on, impressed: “You’ve improved your magic.” Juvia smiled: “Juvi- I mean, I’ve been experimenting with other ways to use spells.” He smiled and wrapped an arm around her: “Well, you’re doing great.” 

She literally melted into a puddle, leaving Gray to panic: “Oh crap, what did I do! I am so sorry!”

_ With the Bastard Brothers _

Zancrow asked Jackal as they flew through the sky, neither really concerned at all: “So… Have any girls looked out?”

Jackal snorted: “As if!”

“Ha! I knew you were into dudes!”

“What, no!”

“Dude, it’s fine if you’re gay.”

“I’m fucking aspec, you Fire-Brain!”

“Oh, right.”

“So… You and Meredy, huh…”

“We’re not a thing. Like, at all.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

They looked around for a bit, before Jackal asked: “We’re gonna be up here for a while, aren’t we?”

Zancrow sighed and pulled out his Communications Lacrima: “Looks like it.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ About a week (and 500 Jewels spent by the Bastard Brothers to get back to Magnolia) later... _

Gajeel sighed: “We don’t need a stroller.”

Levy looked up at him: “Oh, so you think you can carry Emma and Gale everywhere?”

He had the two infant girls swaddled up and in his arms: “I feel offended.” 

She said: “Well at least we should get one of those baby carriers you can carry around as a backpack. That way you can have free hands.”

He asked: “And how would I look at them?!” She sighed: “Gajeel, you’re probably big enough to fit two of those carriers side by side.”

In the meantime, they were being observed by a particular pair of blond-haired individuals. 

Jackal smirked: “Oh, this one is gonna be  _ so _ easy!”

Zancrow asked: “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

Jackal shrugged: “Won’t know until we try.”

Gajeel smiled, holding up his daughters: “Come on, girls, we’re gonna get you a kangaroo pouch.” Levy asked: “Is that what it’s called?”

Jackal jumped out from behind and let out small yet loud explosions in his hands and hair, making strange faces and sounds with his mouth that I will not even attempt to put on paper because I respect my sanity.

Emma and Gale noticed, and soon both girls started tearing up. 

_ *insert ItWasAtThisMomentThatHeKnew...HeFuckedUp.mp3 for Jackal* _

Emma was the first to start crying, followed close by Gale, prompting Gajeel to turn around slowly, a murderous gleam in his eyes, as he looked down at Jackal.

The Demon Gate of Tartaros gulped and waved his hand: “Uh… Hi?”

Gajeel said: “Levy, I changed my mind, a stroller would be nice.” She nodded and lifted her hands: “Hand them over.”

He carefully handed Levy their daughters, then straightened out and cracked his knuckles. Jackal gulped again and said: “Wellthatwasgreatgottagobye!” He sprinted in the other direction as fast as he could, using his curses to shoot himself forward faster.

Zancrow joined his Bastard Brother in running: “I knew it was a bad idea!” Gajeel was right behind them: “I will pummel you into red paste on the road where you stand!”

Jackal exclaimed: “How was I supposed to know he was gonna react that way?!”

Zancrow exclaimed: “Do you not remember when we made that Fairy Tail baby drop her ice cream in his presence?!”

“Hindsight and foresight are not my strong suits!”

Gajeel exclaimed: “YOU DARED MAKE MY ANGELS CRY!”

Jackal said: “It was nice knowing you, friend.” 

Zancrow sniffed: “You too, buddy. You too.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ The very next day _

Laxus groaned: “Why am I here…” Cana looked at the empty bottle over her head: “I dunno, look at the disaster gays over there.”

She motioned towards Mirajane and Freed, both of them were bordering on bickering but in an oddly polite way. 

Laxus huffed: “This is gonna be a nightmare with them in one spot.”

Cana smirked: “Yep, and I’m here to watch.”

He asked: “Aren’t you into Mira?” Cana shrugged: “Eh, I’m thinking of starting up a harem with me in the center.” “Who would want a raging alcoholic?” “A high-functioning, smoking hot, and down-for-anything alcoholic down to try literally anything, you mean?” 

He sighed: “Just how perverted are you…” She smirked: “I had a barrel. My sweet spot for peak libido.” He said: “Of course it is.”

Mirajane huffed: “Your magic really is impressive. It could almost affect a demon. _Almost_ _._ ” Freed grumbled: “And you would have gotten a man by now if you weren’t such an explicit dominatrix.” “Better than being a raging bottom disaster gay.”

Meanwhile, Zancrow looked out from the rooftops: “Ready!”

Jackal cackled as he rolled a massive water balloon, 2 meters in diameter and filled with lemonade, right up to the roof: “In position!”

Zancrow lifted his hand: “Steady on board!”

The balloon stretched against the side of the roof as Jackal barely held it up from the knot.

The four stopped in the street, right under the balloon, and Zancrow grinned: “Bombs away!”

Jackal pushed the balloon off the roof, both of the duo looking down as it hit Laxus, Cana, Freed and Mirajane, drenching them in lemonade. Extra sugary lemonade.

Mira, Cana and Freed jumped in surprise, Laxus simply standing there from shock. He looked up at the roof where Jackal and Zancrow stood, the two laughing, and let out a growl: " _You..._ "

Mirajane licked her palm: "Lemonade?" Cana smirked and grabbed Mirajane's _ladies_ from behind, giving them a squeeze and getting a yelp from the Takeover Mage: "Oh ho ho, there's a lot of that in there!" Freed said: "Cana, stop being so perverted." She simply reached over and grabbed his _sword_ : "Ooh, this lemon feels ripe as well!"

Zancrow yelled: "You're welcome for the refreshment!" Jackal called out: "Drunkie seems to like it!"

Cana held up a thumbs-up: "Oh, I hate being drenched, but have you seen those abs?" She pointed at Laxus, who's shirt was drenched and clinging to his skin in the shape of his muscles. 

She then motioned to Mirajane: "And seriously, the more reason to get her na-" Freed clamped a hand over her mouth: "I think that's enough." He was already blushing from seeing Freed's abs through his shirt.

Mira's vibe was much different. Darker. Gloomier. Heavy. Threatening. She spoke quietly: "You..." 

She turned into her Satan Soul form: "YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE DRESS, YOU MONSTERS!"

Zancrow and Jackal jumped up and booked it across the rooftops in the other way, Mira flying after them: "YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID!"

Laxus called after her: "Mira, it's just a dress, and all that happened was it got wet! We can still get it cleaned!"

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erza smiled happily, a fork in her mouth and a strawberry cake on her plate, and wearing a simple strawberry dress. She mumbled: "Delicious! Such profound flavor!"

Jellal said simply, walking beside her, wearing a casual outfit of jeans and a T-shirt: "It's just a strawberry cake..."

Erza swallowed and said, still smiling: "But it's not just _any_ cake. You made this cake, and that makes it _all the more delicious_!"

Stars shone in her eyes from the wonder and delight, and Jellal couldn't help but smile. _How is she this perfect?_

He patted one of the pouches on his belt, feeling the small ring box inside. _This is it_ _. It's now or never. Do it now, you wimp._

He took a deep breath to calm his mind: "E-Erza?" She stopped: "Yes, Jellal?"

She noticed him sweating profusely, looking sick-ridden: "Are you okay?" She placed a hand on his forehead, checking for a fever: "Do you need to rest?"

He calmed down slightly at her concern: "N-no, no, it's nothing like that. It's just..." 

He reached into the pouch and sighed. _This is happening right now. Brain, don't fail me now._

He knelt down on one knee and said: "For the longest time, you have been a friend to me. You gave me all your trust. Even when I didn't deserve either. Back in the tower, you were so hopeful, inspiring, brave, you stood against the guards there, even when it wasn't your fault. You protected our friends, me, and then, when you left, I was shattered. I was possessed, and I couldn't fight it, and I-"

Erza smiled and said: "Just get on with the question, Jellal. I was there for most of it."

He paused for a second, then chuckled to himself and looked down: "Yeah, right, if you insist."

He held up his hands, the box hidden in his palms, as he said: "Erza Vermillion, or as I believe you prefer Erza Scarlet, will you-"

Suddenly, a cheap plastic barrel dropped in between the two, cracking open in an explosion of confetti, wedding figurines and tiny cakes, fireworks shooting up and spelling 'OAEWLADTNEHSNIOGINTCDNGRUOT'

Jellal and Erza fell back onto their behinds, looking up at the weird spelling, as a familiar raspy voice groaned: "It was supposed to say congratulations on the wedding!" Another voice exclaimed: "It's a shuffling moving shifting barrel, we're lucky it all shot upward!"

Jellal spotted Jackal and Zancrow on a nearby roof, bickering about the box. He groaned. _Why did I tell Meredy..._

Erza looked around, spotting her cake, splattered on the ground: "My cake..." 

Jackal and Zancrow stopped fighting as they realized what happened: "Uh oh..."

Erza stood up, a deathly aura around her hair as she changed into her Heaven's Wheel armor, floating up with a ring of swords floating around her: "You will pay for what you did!"

They cackled nervously, slowly turning around and trying to walk it off. They bolted as fast as they could when the first sword hit behind them: "We're sorry!" "I wanna repent!" "Not with swords though!" "No, definitely not with swords!"

Jellal groaned, pocketing the ring and going after his girlfriend: "Another time maybe..."


End file.
